Catullus Poem 10
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VARUS me meus ad suos amores  1 My dear Varus had taken me from the Forum,
uisum duxerat e foro otiosum,  2 where I was idling, to pay a visit to his mistress, 
scortillum, ut mihi tum repente uisum est,  3 a nice little whore, as I thought at a first glance, 
non sane illepidum neque inuenustum,  4 not at all amiss in manner or looks. 
huc ut uenimus, incidere nobis  5 When we got there, we fell talking of this and that, 
sermones uarii, in quibus, quid esset  6 and amongst other things, what sort of place 
iam Bithynia, quo modo se haberet,  7 Bithynia was now, how its affairs were going on, 
et quonam mihi profuisset aere.  8 whether I had made any money there.
respondi id quod erat, nihil neque ipsis  9 I answered (what was true) that neither the people themselves,
nec praetoribus esse nec cohorti,  10 nor the praetors nor their staff can find any means 
cur quisquam caput unctius referret,  11 of coming back fatter than they went,
praesertim quibus esset irrumator  12 especially as they had such a clintonizer for a praetor
praetor, nec faceret pili cohortem.  13 a fellow who did not care a straw for his subalterns.
'at certe tamen,' inquiunt 'quod illic  14 "Well, but at any rate," say they, "you must have got 
natum dicitur esse, comparasti  15 some bearers for your chair. I am told that is country 
ad lecticam homines.' ego, ut puellae  16 where they are bred." I, to make myself out to the girl 
unum me facerem beatiorem,  17 as specially fortunate above rest,
'non' inquam 'mihi tam fuit maligne  18 say, "Things did not go so unkindly with me
ut, prouincia quod mala incidisset,  19 --bad as the province was which fell to my chance--
non possem octo homines parare rectos.'  20 to prevent my getting eight straight-backed fellows." 
at mi nullus erat nec hic neque illic  21 Now I had not a single one, here or there, 
fractum qui ueteris pedem grabati  22 Strong enough to hoist on his shoulder 
in collo sibi collocare posset.  23 the broken leg of an old sofa. 
hic illa, ut decuit cinaediorem,  24 Says she (just like a little sodomite), 
"quaeso" inquit "mihi, mi Catulle, paulum  25 "I beg you, my dear Catullus, do lend me those slaves you speak of for a moment; 
istos commoda: nam uolo ad Serapim  26 I want just now to be taken to the temple of Serapis." 
deferri." "mane" inquii puellae,  27 "Stop," I say to the girl, 
"istud quod modo dixeram me habere,  28 "what I said just now about those slaves that they were mine, 
fugit me ratio: meus sodalis--  29 it was a slip; a friend of mine--
Cinna est Gaius-- is sibi parauit.  30 Gaius Cinna it is-- it was he who bought them; 
uerum, utrum illius an mei, quid ad me?  31 but it is all one me whether they are his or mine, 
utor tam bene quam mihi pararim.  32 I use them just if I had bought them for myself: 
sed tu insulsa male et molesta uiuis,  33 but you are a stupid, tiresome thing, 
per quam non licet esse neglegentem." 34 who will never let one be off one's guard."